Michael disconnected the call just as his computer calendar signaled a reminder. His stomach dropped. Time for his performance review.  He trudged down the hall to his boss’s office and knocked on the open door. Mr. Owens looked up from his computer and motioned him inside.

            “Close the door behind you and have a seat.”

            Michael’s hands grew moist. This was his third time through this process, and it never got any less nerve-wracking. Mr. Owens pulled a piece of paper from a folder on his desk and cleared his throat.

              “You’re a reliable employee. Since you started here three years ago, you’ve never been late, you’re never loitering around the water cooler, and I don’t think you’ve even taken a sick day.” He glanced at Michael for confirmation.

              “That’s correct, sir. I’ve been blessed with good health.” Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Michael straightened in his chair.
              Mr. Owens grunted. “Right. Anyway, success in this company requires more than simply showing up. You have not met your sales quotas. I’m afraid you are on probation. If you don’t meet your quotas for the first quarter, we’ll need to let you go.”

              Michael stared at his boss. “It’s been a rough year for a lot of people. They’re not in the position to increase their investments. Once the economy improves…”

              “All our employees work in the same economy, Michael. You either have it or you don’t. You need to make your quota. Here’s a copy of your review.” He slid the sheet of paper across the desk and Michael skimmed through it.

              “But sir, these numbers can’t be right. There’s no bonus listed here.”
              “I assure you the numbers are correct. You have a cost-of-living increase, but your bonus is tied to meeting your quotas. No sales, no bonus. Now, if you have no further questions, I suggest you go back to your desk and make some sales.”

              Michael made his way back to his cube and sat with his head in his hands. Probation? No bonus? This job was sucking the life out of him. What would he tell Emily? There was no time to dwell on it now. He had no choice. He had to call potential clients.

              Driving home, Michael’s head swirled. If he couldn’t provide for his family, what good was he? He watched the traffic whiz by in the other lane. It would be so easy to “accidentally” swerve across the yellow lines. He had good life insurance. Emily and Mia would be provided for. He started turning the wheel, but it wouldn’t budge. For the next minute, he couldn’t turn the wheel to the right or the left until he pulled off the freeway, resigned to facing the disappointment on Emily’s face when he told her about his review.

              Michael opened the front door and Mia toddled toward him as fast as her chubby legs could carry her. “Dada! Dada!” Michael scooped her up and breathed in her sweet baby scent. Emily followed behind.

              “Mia, give Daddy a chance to take of his coat.” Her face glowed. How did he get such a beautiful wife? Emily took Mia from him while he removed his coat and hung it in the closet, then drew close and kissed him gently. “I’m so glad you’re home. About a half hour ago, I had such a burden to pray for you. I was so worried. I guess I was being silly.” She reached out and caressed the side of his face with the hand that wasn’t holding Mia. “I love you so much.”

              Michael released the emotions pent inside him. A tear streamed down his cheek.

              Emily led him to the sofa, where she sat facing him, holding his hand. Mia plopped on the floor next to them, playing with her blocks. Michael relayed the events of the day, starting from the review, and ending with the incident on the highway.

              Emily’s eyes flew open wide. “How dare you suggest we’d rather have money than you!”

              “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight. But without a bonus, how will we ever afford a down payment on a house? We’ll be stuck in this apartment for at least another year, and even longer if I lose my job.”

              Emily’s tender gaze pierced Michael’s soul. “I don’t care where we live, as long as we’re together. You’re a child of God, you are my one and only, and you are Mia’s daddy.”

             Mia glanced up and pointed at him “Dada.”

              Emily patted Mia on the head and continued. “We’ll get through this together, no matter what happens.”

TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK…

              Dear God, sometimes life tries to steal our self-worth. Help us to remember the world does not define who we are. You do. You tell us in Matthew 10:29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” When the God of the universe cares enough to know how many hairs are on our head, how can we doubt ourselves?

              When others feel doubt, Lord, please help us to remind them of their worth. Help us to love others as you do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.