Cindy tore her eyes from the mirror and buried her face in her hands. It was worse than she imagined. Sure, she was grateful the doctor had removed all the skin cancer, but her nose would never look the same. When she factored in the extra inches around her midsection she tried desperately to lose, the thinning hair, and the deepening wrinkles, she could barely stand to look at herself any longer. She moved away from the full-length mirror and her gaze fell on the bookcase where the photo albums were shelved. Torturing herself further, she pulled out one of the oldest.
Settling in the rocking chair, she paged through the album. Photo after photo showed her perfect face, figure, and smile. Interspersed between the photos were the ribbons she’d won in the local beauty pageants. She sighed. The boys were all interested in her back then. They’d follow her in the hallway, fighting over which one would carry her books.
All except for James. She’d had her eye on him for months, but he never seemed to notice her. Not until the day she won her first local pageant at the county fair. That finally got his attention. And once she had his attention, she never lost it. Now, after celebrating 45 years of marriage, she hated for him to see her misshapen face.
Hands touched her shoulders, and James leaned down. “What are you looking at those old pictures for?”
Cindy reached a hand up to cover one of James’. “I was remembering back when I was beautiful.”
James moved around to the front of the chair to face Cindy. She dropped her chin so James wouldn’t see her nose. He bent down and lifted her chin with a finger until their eyes met. Afraid of the rejection she’d see in his eyes, they were filled only with love. “You are more beautiful to me now than you ever were then. Besides, it’s not what on the outside that matters to me,” James said.
“But you never even noticed me until I won that beauty pageant.”
James eyes widened. “Is that what you think it was?”
Cindy nodded, her eyes filling with tears.
James reached for Cindy’s hands. “Don’t make me kneel here on the floor – I may never get back up.” Cindy let James lead her to the sofa, where they sat facing one another.
“I’ll never forget that day,” James said. “The summer of 1974. It was a scorcher, but everyone and their brother was at the county fair. “I didn’t care much about the beauty pageant. My friends and I had just watched the judging of our 4H projects.” He laughed. “I think I got a red ribbon for my pet sheep. What was her name again?” His hand rubbed his chin. “Wow. Can’t even remember. Anyway, after that, we strolled the midway, trying to outdo one another popping balloons with darts or throwing basketballs in hoops. Then, all of a sudden, over the din of the carnies calling out for folks to try their luck, over the noise of the crowd and the jokes of my friends, I heard it.”
“Heard what?” Cindy asked.
“The most beautiful sound I’d ever heard in my life,” James said, a faraway look in his eyes. “I’d never heard an angel, but that’s what I imagined one would sound like. Above all the noise, the clear, pure notes of a woman singing God Bless America flowed around me. I left my friends and headed in the direction of the voice.”
A tear trailed down Cindy’s cheek and she wiped it away with her sleeve. “You noticed me because of my voice?”
James grinned. “Darn right, I did. I made a beeline for that stage and watched you belt out every note. So pure, so strong, yet so innocent at the same time. I knew I had to meet the girl that belonged to that voice. I waited until the pageant was over and you finally came back out again.”
“That’s when you asked me to walk around the fair with you,” Cindy said.
“That’s right,” James said. “I couldn’t believe you agreed. If I remember correctly, there were a few other fellas who would have liked to take you for a ride on the Ferris wheel.”
“I only had eyes for you,” Cindy said. “I was so glad you finally noticed me.”
James stroked Cindy’s face, lovingly caressing every laugh line. “I didn’t fall for you because you won a beauty pageant,” he said. “I don’t care about all that. I fell for your beautiful voice, and the beautiful spirit in you. It doesn’t matter to me that you don’t look exactly the same as when we met.” He pointed to his bald head. “I certainly don’t.”
Cindy laughed and clasped his hand. “No, you don’t, but you’re still handsome to me.”
“No matter what you look like,” James said, “I’ll always love you for the person you are. Now come on.”
Curious, Cindy followed James into the living room. He sat on the piano bench, patted the seat next to him, and began playing the opening notes. “Would you sing for me?”
Nearly unable to swallow past the lump in her throat, Cindy sent up a silent prayer of thanks to God for giving her this man who loved her, misshapen nose and all. She made her way to the piano and joined her lifelong companion in song.
1 Samuel 16:7
For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
God, thank You for caring about who we are, not what we look like. As we grow older, grayer, either thinner or heavier, and more wrinkled, what a blessing it is to know You created us this way. It’s not about what we look like, it’s about how we can serve You. Please help us remember our worth in your eyes. Thank you for not judging us the way the world does. Please help us never to judge others by their appearances. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Karen
Thank you so much for this wonderful short story. I love the words of the card in which you shared. It is such amazing words that God speaks to us about it is the heart and what is on the inside that matters most. May we all remember that always. I pray for you each day in your recovery and pray 🙏 that you feel God’s continue healing and comfort and strength and his love. You are a beautiful woman of faith inside and out and I am so grateful for knowing you and how you share your life and your wonderful gifts that God has blessed you with. You encourage me so much and I look forward to reading your message each week. I am also enjoying reading your new book it is keeping me in waiting for the final outcome of it. You are a wonderful writer. May you have a blessed week and enjoy the beautiful season of the cooler temperatures and I am so thankful for you.
Ginger,
Thank you so much for your kind words. You are always such an encouragement to me. Thank you also for your prayers. They are a blessing, and much appreciated!
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful reminder that what’s inside is far more important than our outward appearance. And that our Father will never leave us nor forsake us, because He loves us and sees our heart.
Thank you for reaching out and letting me know you were touched by the story. Sometimes we all need a little reminder that God sees us on the inside!