Audrey’s head swam as she struggled to open her eyes. When she did, the brightness of the room shot pain through her head. Where was she?

            “She opened her eyes!” An excited voice sounded nearby. It sounded like Jessica.

            “Thank you, God.”

            Was that Monica? Why were her sisters here? And why was everything so fuzzy? A hand clasped hers.

            “Audrey, honey, can you hear me?”

            Audrey opened her eyes again and squinted against the harsh overhead light. Her mouth was sandy. “Water.”

            “Of course.” Jessica’s face came into focus. “I’m going to lift the head of the bed for you.”

            Audrey found herself in a sitting position. She sipped from the straw Jessica held in front of her. After a few moments, the world became clearer. And then she remembered. She must be in the hospital. That meant it didn’t work. And her sisters knew what she’d done. She closed her eyes again, wishing for everything to go away.

            Jessica wouldn’t let her get off that easy. “Audrey. Do you want to tell us what happened?”

            Audrey inwardly groaned. “You wouldn’t understand.”

            Monica appeared at Jessica’s side. “Then explain it to us. Your neighbor said he found you on the sofa with an empty bottle of pills next to you. He couldn’t wake you up and called 911.”

            “Why was my neighbor in my apartment?”

            “He said his dog was acting funny. He kept scratching and pawing at your door.”

            Audrey smiled in spite of herself. “Good old Roscoe. Always did like me.”

            Jessica squeezed Audrey’s hand. “Why did you do it?”

            “You don’t know what it’s like.”

            “Then tell us. Please. We love you and we want to help you.”

            Audrey swallowed hard. Guilt and shame threatened to envelop her. But how much worse could it get? Her sisters knew the awful truth. She’d tried to end her life. Should she share everything with them?

           Both sisters brought chairs close to the edge of her bed. Both wore worried frowns. Did they actually care this much?

            “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

            “How could killing yourself not upset us? You’re our baby sister.” A tear trickled down Monica’s cheek. “You can talk to us. Whatever it is, we can help you get through it.”

            Jessica scooted closer. “I know we haven’t seen each other too often lately, but we care about you.”

            A lump lodged itself in Audrey’s throat. Why hadn’t she realized it sooner? Maybe she wasn’t as alone as she’d thought. She straightened in the bed and pulled down the hospital gown. “I just felt like there was nothing to live for. My job is going nowhere, and I can’t afford anything better than a generic one-bedroom apartment with all the student debt I have. I had to put Bear down last week, and my boyfriend dumped me.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, but all my friends have these amazing, glamorous lives. Just like the two of you. Everyone else has it together. I feel so alone.”

            “Honey, I’m sorry about all of that, but you’ve got it all wrong. You are absolutely not alone. I definitely don’t have an amazing, glamorous life.” Monica shook her head. “I don’t know what gave you that idea.”

            “Me either,” Jessica said. “I’m really sorry about Bear, though. He was a sweet dog. Of all the things you said, that is the saddest. As for the student debt, you’ll be 25 next month. You’ll be of age to get your share of the life insurance money from Mom and Dad. You won’t be rich, but it will certainly help.”

            Monica stood from her chair and sat on the edge of Audrey’s bed. “I want to get back to the part about you thinking everyone else has these amazing lives. Where did you get that idea?”

            Audrey frowned. “Everything I see online. Fancy meals, vacation pictures, everyone posing with their boyfriends or husbands, looking amazingly in love. And they all look fabulous.” Audrey slumped against the pillow. “I’ll never look that good in a bathing suit. Not ever.”

            Monica raised her eyebrows. “Like Sarah Cooper? Your friend from high school who got married last year?”

            “Exactly.”

            “I ran into her mom at the hairdresser. She’s getting a divorce. They may have nice pictures online, but she caught him cheating on her.”

            Audrey blinked. “Wow.”

            Jessica scrunched up her forehead. “And Susan Watkins? She posts all those travel pictures for work. Looks pretty great. Well, it turns out she just checked into rehab. With all the jet lag, she started taking pills to sleep at night and got addicted to them.”

            Monica frowned. “Well, if we’re being brutally honest here, you should know, I’ve had some problems of my own. I didn’t want to tell anyone, but I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder the past couple of years.”

            Audrey stared at her. “You’re kidding me. I had no idea about any of this.”

            Jessica patted her arm. “What you see on the internet is not reality. Everyone has problems. Sure, life can be hard. But don’t give up. God hasn’t given up on you. And neither have we.”

            Monica squeezed Audrey’s hand. “And if you don’t mind the fact that we have just as many problems as you do, we’d love to spend more time together.”

            Audrey brushed a tear from her cheek. “I’d like that. But I gave up on God. He won’t want anything to do with me.”

            “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done.” Jessica’s voice was gentle. “God loves you anyway. If you feel like He’s far away, that’s your perception, not His. He’s always been with you. And Monica and I are going to do a better job being with you as well. And do you know what we’re going to do first?”

            “What?”

            “We’re getting you out of this hospital bed, going to the animal shelter to find a new dog, and canceling your social media accounts.”

            A flicker of hope filled Audrey for the first time in a long time. “Sounds great.”

Galatians 6:4-5

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.

  

Romans 12:6

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.

God, comparing ourselves with others is never healthy, and often we don’t have the whole picture. Please help us focus on our own gifts and our relationship with You rather than worrying that we don’t have what someone else appears to have. Thank you for the blessings You have bestowed on each of us, most importantly, Your love and salvation. No matter what else we may or may not have in this world, we are all children of the King and have treasures awaiting us in heaven. God, thank You for Your patience with us. Please help us keep our focus on You. Thank You for never leaving or forsaking us. Please help us remember that when we feel alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.