Learning to Trust

Alanna leaned back against the booth. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t have the blind faith that you do.” Sometimes Jenn went a bit too far.

Jenn frowned. “It’s not a blind faith. God has shown me over and over what a good Father He is.”

Alanna frowned. “I don’t need another father in my life. The first one was bad enough.”

Jenn reached out and squeezed Alanna’s arm. “I’m sorry that was your experience. I won’t press you. You’ve had a rough time. I just wanted you to know that if you trust God, it will be so much easier for you. Just because you were hurt before doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust God. He only wants what’s best for you.”

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree on this point.” Alanna glanced at her watch. “Thanks for lunch. We’d better get back to work. It’s nearly one.”

Jenn’s eyes widened and she stood abruptly, banging her leg on the table. “Whoops. You’re right. We’d better get back. I’m sorry if I pushed too hard.”

Alanna waved a hand. “It’s OK. I know you mean well.”

That night, as Alanna stepped out of her car, a sound caught her attention. What was that? She followed the soft cry to the bushes, where a beautiful orange and white cat lay tangled in the vines. At least he looked like he might have been orange and white at some point. Now his hair lay grayish and matted. The cat’s eyes narrowed at Alanna. She reached out a hand toward him, and he hissed. He tried to back away and whimpered.

“Are you hurt?” Alanna tried again to reach out to the cat, but got the same reaction. How could she help this poor creature? Well, considering it was skin and bones, there was one obvious way. “Hold on, little one. I’ll be right back.” She dashed into the house, popped open a can of tuna and placed some on a paper plate. She filled a small bowl with water, and carried the offerings out to the front yard. After placing the food and water in front of the cat, she backed off, giving him space.

As soon as Alanna backed away, the cat lapped up the water, then gobbled up the food. “Nothing wrong with your appetite, that’s for sure.” He whimpered again when he tried to put weight on his back leg.

“You poor thing. You are hurt.” Now what?

A voice sounded behind Alanna. “What are you doing over there?”  

Alanna straightened and turned toward her neighbor, Ted. “There’s an injured cat under the bushes. I was giving him some food and water.”

Ted raised his eyebrows. “Would you like some help? You do remember I’m a vet.”

Alanna smacked her forehead. “Of course. I should have come to you first. What should I do?”

Ted moved toward the bushes and peered underneath. “Hey, little guy.” He jerked back, clearly receiving the same treatment as Alanna had. He turned to her. “He’s favoring his back leg. I’m going to give him something to calm him. I’ll be right back.”

Later that evening, Alanna peered under her sofa at the now clean cat. His orange fur was soft and glistening. But other than that and the cast on his leg, not much had changed with him. “Hey buddy, don’t be scared. I’m here to take care of you.” He shrank further under the sofa, trembling. What could she do? Ted had told her to be patient. Clearly the little guy had been through some trauma.

“Well, whether you come out or not, if you’re going to stay with me, you’ll need a name. Alanna sat back on her heels. “Hmmm. How about Milo?”

Milo made no indication of whether he liked the name or not. Still, it was better than nothing.

Every day, the routine was the same. Alanna put out food and water. Milo would dash out from his hiding place under the sofa when Alanna was out of the room, gobble down the food, and dash back to safety.

Finally, after a week of this, Alanna grew impatient. She lay flat on her belly, eye level with Milo under the sofa.

“Why don’t you understand? All I want to do is take care of you. I’ve shown you nothing but kindness, and you’re terrified of me. I’ve given you medical care, a warm, safe, dry place to stay, and food and water every day. I bought you a bed which you don’t use, and toys which you don’t use, at least not when I’m home. I haven’t tried to pull you out from under the sofa. What more can I do?”

Alanna pushed up from the floor, easing herself out of the uncomfortable position. Clearly someone hurt Milo in the past. He was malnourished and had the injuries to prove it. She continued speaking to Milo in gentle tones. “Just because you were hurt before doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust me. I only want what’s best for you.”

Suddenly Jenn’s words came back to her. Wasn’t that exactly what Jenn had told her about God? Alanna’s father had hurt her, but God hadn’t. Had God brought her Milo to show her He wasn’t like her father?

Alanna swallowed hard against the lump that formed in her throat, but it wasn’t enough to keep the tears from falling. Soon she was sobbing, still sitting on the floor, her back to the sofa. All her past hurts and insecurities rose to the surface as one by one, she handed them over to God. “I don’t want to be like Milo, God. If you truly want what’s best for me, I’m willing to follow You. It might be hard at first, but I’m going to try to trust You.”

At that moment, a movement caught Alanna’s eye. Milo crept out from under the sofa. Still trembling, he lifted a paw and placed it on Alanna’s leg, almost as if he was reassuring her. She drew in a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

Milo darted back under the sofa, but it was enough. Maybe they’d both made a breakthrough in learning to trust today.

Psalm 62:8

Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. 

God, no matter what has happened in our lives or how we have been treated by others, You are trustworthy. You love us and want what is best for us. Please help us trust You, especially when the future is uncertain. When we’re faced with times of trouble, please help us remember Your love. Please help us remember You’re with us and You want to comfort us. Thank you for Your promises. We’re so grateful to have a trustworthy and loving Father. In Jesus’ name, Amen.