Tanya pushed open the door to Aunt Gertie’s house. The familiar scent hit immediately, wrapping around her like an embrace. It was a mixture of warm cinnamon, the faintest hint of mothballs, and the comforting trace of her perfume. She took a step inside, breathing it in, and the weight of Aunt’s Gertie’s absence pressed heavily upon her. Clearing out this house would not be easy.
The service had been lovely. Aunt Gertie was an amazing woman. Her legacy left Tanya ashamed. Aunt Gertie was perfect, as far as Tanya could tell. She loved everyone, exuded kindness, and thought about Jesus all the time. Tanya could never reach that standard. How Aunt Gertie did it was beyond her.
Tanya moved through the kitchen where Aunt Gertie made so many delicious meals, the dining room where the family gathered, and the living room where they all sat and chatted. The enormity of the task overwhelmed her as the memories flooded her mind. She’d better start upstairs. Upstairs was Aunt Gertie’s personal space. Tanya couldn’t remember the last time she’d been upstairs, so the memories wouldn’t be so strong there. She made her ascent, grasping the smooth oak banister as she left the memories below.
When she reached the landing, she blinked. Yellow sticky notes were everywhere. She moved closer to read one.
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Remember this when Ella starts criticizing.
Tanya blinked. Was this Gertie’s secret? One by one, she moved around the upstairs hallway, reading the notes. Each one started with a Bible verse and each one contained a reminder of when to use it.
Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Remember this when Mr. Fields starts arguing about the yard. Take him some cookies instead.
Tanya’s eyes filled with tears. Mr. Fields was Gertie’s grump of a next-door neighbor. Nothing ever made him happy. But he’d stood up at Gertie’s memorial service and praised her. Seemed like her cookies and her Bible verse must have worked.
Reluctantly, Tanya pushed open the door to Gertie’s bedroom. The scent of Gertie’s perfume intensified, and Tanya closed her eyes, drawing in a breath, imagining Gertie’s arms around her. When she opened them, she took in the room. The contrast to the downstairs was startling. Unlike the perfect neatness of the rooms where Gertie entertained, the bedroom was, well, a bit of a mess. Somehow this one fact made Gertie so much more human to Tanya. The bedcovers lay crumpled at the foot of the bed, a few sweaters lay in a heap on the dresser, and a pile of books and papers lay scattered around a chair. Clearly, this was a place where Gertie felt free to be herself.
Tanya moved toward the chair. On top of the stack of books and papers lay two things. Gertie’s Bible and her journal. Tanya’s heart hammered in her chest. These were the two most personal things Gertie owned. Did she dare take a peek?
Tanya wavered. On the one hand, reading Gertie’s journal seemed like an invasion of privacy. But on the other hand, Tanya desperately needed to know the secret of Gertie’s closeness with Jesus. All her life, Tanya tried to be good, and she succeeded on the outside for the most part, but she still struggled with her thought life. Maybe Gertie’s personal thoughts could give her guidance.
Decision made, she settled in the chair with Gertie’s journal. Cleaning up the house could wait. She opened to the first page, dated about a year prior.
Seriously, God? Cancer? After all I’ve done for you, now you’re inflicting me with cancer? I’m very angry with you right now. I’m facing two choices. Months of debilitating treatment or a certain death. How do you expect me to serve you with a cheerful heart during all of that?
Tanya nearly dropped the journal. This sounded nothing like Gertie. How could this be possible? She continued reading.
OK, God, thank You for letting me get all that out. I know You love me. Please show me in Your word what I need to hear today…
Well, You did it again. Today’s verses will be Romans 8:38-39. Thank you.
Before continuing, Tanya picked up Gertie’s Bible and flipped to the verse.
Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
After reading the verse, Tanya turned back to the journal, eager to hear what Gertie took away from it.
No matter what challenges I face, Your love for me is unshakeable. Thank You that not even this diagnosis will separate me from Your love. Once again, you’ve given me exactly what I need through Your word. I’m still rocked by the diagnosis, but I will not wallow in self-pity. Please continue to give me the strength I need to serve others, no matter how much time I have left.
Tanya set both books down next to the chair and brushed away a tear. Gertie wasn’t a super-saint. She was a regular person with regular emotions and problems. But what set her apart was her willingness to be honest with God and to seek answers from Him in His word. All it took was one page of Gertie’s journal to teach Tanya that a godly life wasn’t as unattainable as she thought. No matter what else she found in this house, she’d already uncovered what was most valuable.
Psalm 19: 9-10
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous.
They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb.
God, Your word is precious, and can help us in every situation. Thank You that we can come to You with our honest thoughts. Thank You for loving us, regardless of how we feel, or how far we may stray from You. God, no matter how saintly someone looks from the outside, we’re all sinners. None of us ever can be perfect. But when we struggle, please help us remember Your word. Thank You for the godly examples You’ve placed in our lives and in Your word. But thank You also for revealing the mistakes of Your people in Your word so we can relate. It’s comforting to know we don’t have to be perfect to be loved or to be used by You. Thank You for using broken people to do amazing things. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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