Johnny exited the school bus, head down. Kate did a double take. That wasn’t right. It was Friday afternoon. He usually bounded off the bus, excited for the weekend. Kate touched his head as he joined her at the bus stop.

          “Are you feeling OK, buddy?”

          Johnny didn’t meet her eyes. “I’m fine.”

          “How was school today?”

          “OK.” Johnny’s voice was dull.

          Kate’s concern kicked up a notch. Where was her usually exuberant child? “Do you want to go to the park and throw the frisbee around? It’s such a nice day.”

          “No, let’s just go home.” Johnny shuffled up the street toward home. Kate followed behind, unsure of what to make of Johnny’s behavior. Something must have happened at school. Still, if she pressed, he might pull away even more.

          Johnny pushed open the front door and climbed the stairs, ignoring Lady, who whined for his attention. If he was even ignoring Lady, something was definitely wrong. Kate followed Johnny up the stairs, rubbing Lady’s head as she trotted along beside her.

          Johnny lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Kate stood in the doorway, at a loss. “Would you like a snack? I made some blueberry muffins this afternoon.”

          “I’m not hungry.” Johnny turned away and faced the wall.

          Kate went back downstairs and finished cleaning the dishes from the muffins. As she filled the mixing bowl with soapy water, her spirits sunk. What if nothing was wrong, and this was just the way things would be now? She’d heard many kids turned from talkative, excited children into moody teenagers, but Johnny was only eight.

          Kate had wanted to be a mother ever since she was a little girl, and it had taken years, prayers, and medical interventions in order for her to have Johnny. And as much as she wanted to have more children, it didn’t seem to be God’s plan, now that she was nearly 42. Her relationship with Johnny meant the world to her. How could she bear it if he would no longer confide in her? She cried out to God.

          “Lord, I need your help. Something is wrong with Johnny, and he won’t talk to me. Please help me be a good parent to him. Please, let him be willing to talk to me. I don’t know how to help him if he won’t communicate.”

          Kate finished the dishes and pulled her Bible from the shelf, hoping God would speak to her through His word. She picked up where she had been reading that morning in 1 John chapter 4. As she read the verses on love, she became more confused. She loved Johnny. And Johnny loved her. That wasn’t the problem. When she reached verse 18, however, she froze.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

            Fear has to do with punishment. Was Johnny afraid of being punished? If he’d gotten in trouble in school, maybe he was afraid to talk to her about it. And fear was driving a wedge between them. Kate sent up another prayer to God.

            “Thank you for showing me this passage, Lord. Please give me the right words to say to Johnny so we can restore our relationship.”

            Kate made her way back upstairs to Johnny’s room. He hadn’t moved. “Hey, bud. I want to know that I love you very much.”

            Johnny’s eyes remained fixed on the ceiling. “Yeah, I know.”

            Kate pressed forward. “But did you know I will always love you, no matter what? That’s what moms do. It’s kind of like with God. We do bad things all the time, and God loves us and forgives us, anyway. If you mess up, I’m still going to love you. I just wanted to know you can talk to me if there’s ever something bothering you.”

            Johnny was quiet, but his bottom lip trembled. Kate’s heart squeezed, but she held her tongue. After a few moments, Johnny’s voice came out in a whisper.

            “I got in trouble in school today. Miss Carpenter gave me a note to give to you.”

            Kate raised her eyebrows. Johnny had never been in trouble before. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

            “At recess, I shoved Alex. He fell down and scraped his knee.”

            “Why did you do that?”

            “Because he was picking on Will. Will is the littlest kid in the class, and Alex thinks he can push him around just because he’s small. But Will is funny and really good at drawing. He’s nice to the other kids. Alex was being a bully and I wanted him to stop, so I yelled at him and shoved him. I told him to leave Will alone.”

            “I’m glad you stood up to Alex’s bullying. I’m sure Will appreciated it, especially since you got in trouble for it.”           

            “Yeah, I didn’t get to go to the assembly this afternoon. Miss Carpenter made me sit in the office for a whole hour with nothing to do. And I heard the assembly was cool. They did science experiments. It was the worst day ever. I’m sorry, Mommy. I guess you’re mad at me, too.”

            Kate moved over to sit on the bed beside Johnny. “I’m not mad at you. And I’m not going to punish you, either.”

            Johnny sat up. “You’re not?”

            “No. You were already punished by missing the assembly. Next time, if you see someone bullying, use your words. Don’t get violent, even if you’re angry. But I’m proud of you for standing up for Will.”           

             Johnny’s face broke out into an enormous smile. “Thanks, Mommy.” He threw his arms around her. “Can I still have a muffin?”

            Laughter bubbled up inside Kate. “Of course. Let’s go have a snack.”

Proverbs 3, 11-12

My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

          God, sometimes as parents we have to punish our children. And sometimes, as Your children, You need to punish us. But help us remember to discipline in love, just as You discipline us because You love us. Sin separates us from you, not only because You can’t have sin in Your presence, but because we are afraid to come to You. Help us turn from our sins, to confess our sins, and restore us in our relationship with You. Thank you for loving us, no matter what we do. What comfort there is in knowing You love us in spite of our unfaithfulness. What joy in the knowledge we are unconditionally loved! Thank You so much for all you give us we do not deserve. May we be merciful and forgiving as we deal with others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.