Marcy scrolled through the job postings as she sipped her coffee. Emma skipped into the kitchen.

“You’re up early, Peanut.”

Emma’s face lit with excitement. “I’m going to Olivia’s house today.”

“Yes, you are. But not for a few hours.”

“That’s OK. I have lots to get ready. I’m going to walk all by myself.”

Marcy stilled. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I’m happy to walk with you.”

“No, Mommy. I’m in first grade now. I’m a big girl and I can walk all the way down the street by myself.”

Marcy sucked in a breath. “What if I stay here in our yard and watch you until you reach Olivia’s house. Would that be OK?”

“And I get to walk by myself?”

“Sure.”

“Yay!” Emma slid into the seat next to Marcy. “What are you doing?”

“I’m looking at jobs.”

“But you have a job.”

“I know, but now that you’re in first grade, I can work more. We could use more money.”

“We can ask Daddy for more money. He works a lot.”

Marcy cringed. How to explain this to a six-year-old? “We can’t ask Daddy for more money. He already gives us money.” Exactly the amount the court tells him to and not a penny more.

“Um, OK. I’m gonna get ready to go to Olivia’s.” Emma bounced off her seat and disappeared from view.

If only it were that easy. Marcy returned to the job ads and one caught her eye. Christian school aide. Oh, that would be perfect. She studied the job description and gasped. As a benefit, all employees received free tuition for their children. What a perfect job. She’d be able to send Emma to Christian school and work where she was. She’d be off whenever Emma was off, and best of all, she’d be working with children, which she loved. And to top it all off, the pay was a dollar more per hour than she made at the grocery store.

But it was a Christian school. She was a single mom. Why would they hire someone like her? She couldn’t even keep a husband. She closed the laptop screen and carried her coffee mug to the dishwasher.

All morning, the possibilities of the job warred with her insecurities. She wasn’t smart enough, or Christian enough, or good enough with children. But it would be such a wonderful school for Emma and a fabulous place to work.

The sound of Emma’s footsteps going back and forth across the apartment drew her attention. She found her in the foyer with a giant backpack.

“What are you doing, Peanut?”

“I’m getting ready to go to Olivia’s house. I have everything I need for the trip.”

Marcy raised her eyebrows. “Olivia lives down the street, and you’ll only be there for two or three hours. Why do you need a giant backpack?”

Emma ran down the list. “I have snacks in case I’m hungry on the way, and I have my water bottle if I’m thirsty. I brought my favorite dolls and my favorite books. Maybe Olivia will want to play with them. And I brought our favorite card games. And sunscreen in case it’s sunny and my raincoat in case it’s rainy. And a sweater in case it’s cold.”

Marcy bit her lip. What did it hurt if Emma wanted to be prepared for everything? “That’s great, Peanut. I’m sure Olivia will be happy to have so many options.”

“Is it time?” Emma bounced on her toes.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

Emma frowned. “Just me, remember?”

“Right.” Marcy texted Olivia’s mom, Susan.

Emma is starting her walk now. Can you meet her in your yard?

Susan replied immediately.

Heading outside now with Olivia.         

“OK, Emma. Let’s get going.”

Emma grinned and stepped into the backpack. She struggled under the weight of it, but puffed out her chest as she rose with it on her back. Marcy opened the front door and followed Emma outside.

Emma’s steps were slow and methodical. She staggered down the street under the weight of the backpack. Marcy shielded her eyes from the sun and waved to Olivia and Susan, who stood at the end of the block, ready to receive Emma. Susan was the kind of person who they’d want to hire for the job. She was smart, kind, and still married.

Emma’s small figure grew even smaller as she trudged down the street. A Bible verse sprang to Marcy’s mind. Something about running with weights. She’d have to look that up. When Emma reached Olivia and Susan, she turned back and waved to Marcy, ecstatic at having achieved her goal. Marcy grinned and waved back. Susan lifted the backpack from her shoulders, and Emma and Olivia embraced.

Marcy returned to the house. What was that verse? She pulled it up on her phone.

Hebrews 12: 1-2

 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

Yes. That was it. Emma carried so much baggage that she could barely make it to Olivia’s house. But what about Marcy’s baggage? She was loaded down with insecurity, guilt, shame, and unworthiness. God didn’t want that for her. She was a child of God. It was time to stop carrying the weights around. She settled in front of her laptop to apply for the Christian school position.

God, Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light. Please help us set aside the sins and the feelings that keep us from running the race You have set for us. Please help us do all You have for us without carrying around self-imposed heavy burdens. In Jesus’ name, Amen.