Michelle paused before opening the door. She needed another minute to process all this. Ever since she found the lump, she couldn’t think straight. Her hand unconsciously moved toward the tender spot on her breast. The biopsy procedure hadn’t been too bad, but now the waiting continued. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

             A blur streaked toward her. “Mommy!”

             Jenna, her 3-year old, launched herself into her arms. Michelle winced as Jenna pressed against her chest. “Hi, sweetie. How was your afternoon?”
            “Good! Deena let me watch cartoons.” Jenna streaked off again, chasing after the dog. Michelle dropped her purse and moved into the living room where Deena was changing a squirming Charlie’s diaper.

            Deena glanced her way. “You’re home.” The look of relief on the 16-year old’s face was telling.
            “That bad, huh?”

            Deena shrugged. “No, it’s just a little overwhelming. I don’t know how you do it all the time. Even my chemistry homework seems easier after I get home from here.”
            Megan laughed. “Well, I guess that’s one bright side.” She took the newly changed baby from Deena and hugged him close. “I know these guys are a handful, but I appreciate the help.”

            She glanced over at the kitchen table where the twins sat with markers, coloring each other’s hands more than the papers in front of them. Deena’s mouth lifted. “They seemed to be having fun, and they’re washable markers.”

            “Markers on the twins’ hands is the least of my concerns,” Megan said. “You do a great job, Deena. Thank you.”

            “How’d the doctor’s appointment go?” Deena asked, moving toward the door.

             Deena didn’t need to carry this burden. “It was fine.” Megan shifted Charlie to one hip, pulled some bills from her purse, and handed them to Deena. “I hope they behaved enough for you to be willing to come back again.”

            Deena laughed. “Of course. Just not too often.” She took the money and was out the door in a flash. “See ya!”
            Megan sank into a chair with Charlie, who started fussing. She glanced at the clock. Yes, he’d be hungry by now. The twins, tired of drawing on each other’s hands, were now drawing on one another’s faces. Megan sighed. Like Deena said, it was washable. There was still time to feed Charlie, get dinner on, and wash up the twins before Ed got home.

            Charlie latched on hungrily to Megan’s good side, and she drifted into thought. What if it was cancer? Who would take care of the kids? Ed couldn’t handle them by himself. How could she even feed Charlie anymore? A single tear slid down her cheek.

            Charlie, efficient as always, moved on to the second side, and Megan flinched in pain. No, she could do this. After burping him and settling him in his bouncy seat, she called the twins to the kitchen and gave them tasks to help with dinner.

            Later that evening, with all the kids in bed and Ed on his laptop, the quiet surrounded her for the first time all day. Megan sat on the deck, her face toward the night sky. Stars glittered through the inky blackness. God was in control. If she didn’t believe that, all was lost. Most biopsies turned out to be benign. It could all be over. Or it could be the beginning of surgery, chemo, radiation… What if, what if, what if?

            She turned as the screen door opened and Ed settled onto the swing next to her. “I thought I’d find you out here.” He draped his arm across her shoulders and she nestled into his embrace.

           “Do you want to talk about it?”

            “The biopsy? No.”

            “What about how you’re feeling? When will they give you the results?”

             “It could be as long as two weeks.”

             Ed breathed out a sigh. “That’s a long time to wait.”

            “It is.”

            “I’ll wait with you, you know. You’re not in this alone.”

            Megan kept her gaze heavenwards. “I know. I still worry.”

            “Sometimes the waiting is the hardest part, but God knows what He’s doing.”

            “He does.” What a blessing to have a godly husband by her side.

            “Things are settling down at work. I can put in for family medical leave if I need to.”

            Megan sat up. “You would do that?”

            Ed brushed the hair back from her cheek. “For you, of course. In fact, I’m going to take tomorrow off. Let’s take the kids to the beach this weekend.”

             “Seriously? But what if the doctor calls? What if I need to go back for some follow up, or…”
            Ed stilled her with a finger to her lips. “One day at a time, my dear. None of us knows the future. This could all be a false alarm, or it could be something more serious. Either way, I know we need to live now. God doesn’t show us the future, but he’s given us each other, and four amazing blessings, so let’s enjoy it all.

            The tight ball in Megan’s stomach loosened as she turned her gaze from the stars to find them reflected in Ed’s eyes. He was right. She was blessed. No matter what happened, she was loved.

Philippians 4:6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

Dear Lord,

You know we have trouble waiting, yet it seems we’re always waiting for something. Please help us to live in each moment you’ve given us, to use the talents and the gifts you’ve given us in our current situtations.  Please make your presence known to us while we wait. Jesus’ name, amen.